it's been a while

Sorry to take so long to add to my blog. Things are better and worse depending on the topic and I haven't come up with sufficient motivation to explain them.

Work is great, but starting to get hard to stay entertained for more than 8 hours. I have a few different things I can work on, but I find myself getting a little restless towards the end of the day. I need to start getting into work earlier (for my own sake), so that when 6pm rolls around I've actually been there sufficiently to call it a day.

another fun night

My friend Nichole came down from SLC tonight and we got to hang out for a bit. Was really nice, we went for italian and both ordered alfredo. I can't explain how much I love fettucini alfredo. After that we dropped by my Uncle's go-cart track and raced around. That is always a fun thing to do.

My boss Mark managed to hook me up with 4 tickets to college football tomorrow, which I almost begged for after hearing from Doug that he wanted to get together and talk with Ero and I, and Ero suggested coming over to his place to watch the game. To which I suggested, lets just go to the game. :) I think they are excited, which makes me excited. Having 4 tickets and there only being the 3 of us, I spent the afternoon and early evening trying to get a hold of Amy, whom I had heard would enjoy such an event. She called me back later tonight to ask if I had been trying to call her. It's still not for certain that she can make it, and thats largely understandable due to the short notice. I am hoping she can make it, but if not, I don't think I'm going to be bothered by it at all. I suspect other events or time will make itself available for us to hang out and spend some time together eventually, if she truly is willing and wanting for it to happen.

I played some computer games for a few hours tonight too, which was nice since I've been too busy with work and real life to get much of that in this last week. I'm yawning like crazy which is a good sign, so I think I shall call it a day and conclude this blog. Hope you had a good day too. Yes, you... no one else is reading this right now are they? Heheh... later.

a bit of fun

One of my friends has recently got laryngitis, which is bad since her work involves her being on the phone 8 hours a day. She's just about completely lost her voice, and took today off. I decided to arrange a gathering and called Josh. I left work straight for SLC, after having made plans to meet Josh and Nichole at Nichole's apt. I drove us upto the UofU campus to a pizza shop called The Pie, simply the best pizza in the state. After that and a little mindless driving we decided to go bowling. We agreed we all suck at it, but it was still fun. Josh kicked our butts of course, dunno why he's so much better at bowling (and he was playing with a broken wrist).

Tomorrow will conclude my first week of work with the Daily Herald, and not that I don't feel like I'm being productive, but I'm still working on the servers getting them ready for deployment. And trying to decide the best deployment method and how to expand the current structure with minimal outages etc, while taking best advantage of the new hardware in a capacity that will get us through the next year. I guess I didn't really figure it would take this long. Hopefully I can make some better progress tomorrow.

Haven't heard from Amy again yet, and being the social retard that I am I realized I haven't asked for her phone number. I know she has called me twice and that I could still have the number on the caller id, but I think I'll wait and ask her for it properly. I'm really hoping she calls again soon. I'm hoping to get to see her and spend a little time getting to know her again.

Great news all around

The job is going fantastic, I get to spend time doing what I enjoy, coding in PHP and building or playing with linux servers. The 1U servers are coming along great, I replicated the Gentoo install today to 2 of the other boxes after getting the primary completed. Everyone seems excited to have me there and a few people even remember me from having worked there a few years ago. All of which have made some comment about my having had blue hair (years ago). I guess a set a trademark.

Also on a fantasic note, Amy called me on Sunday. Yet again it was so great to hear from her. Still hoping to get together sometime. Strangely I can already tell she has grown up a lot in the time past by. My sister is much the same way ... growing up so fast. Already she's graduated college and about to have her first child. Hm.. she's past me right by even.

Well, I better get some rest .. I'm lucky to have work .. might as well get to it early. I mean like 9am kind of early though ... not sure I could do much earlier.

Woohoo!

Sorry I haven't posted in a few days, but here is the update. First and foremost, I got a job! (And there was much rejoicing) Yah, so I was meeting with Mark from the Daily Herald about building these 1U servers and he starts asking me if I know anyone who does web work that is looking for a job. I naturally told him I was willing. This comes a surprise to him I'm sure because a little over a year ago they offered me a job (much more money too) and I declined. I was trying to do the freelance consulting thing. Anyway, I start Monday and I can't hardly wait. Woot!

Also, on a bright note. I received word from Amy. It has been about a week now since I had hoped we could get together, but she assured me that things are still a bit crazy and she hadn't forgotten me. *sighs* She is so nice that way, truly considerate. Anyway, I gave her my phone number again, and I'll patiently wait and hope she'll call.

Yay! I'm just so happy about things again .. my general outlook on life REALLY helps when I feel worthwhile to the world. And having a job is a BIG factor to that.

Ok, talk at yah later mates!

Weekend fun

Ok, I didn't get to go to any Theme parks, or spent time with a significant other or anything like that. But I did get to spend some time with friends. This evening I drove out to Shane's house (windows down, and music up). He made fettucini alfredo and chicken and broccoli and fried shrimp. It was incredibly good. We talked music for a while and I showed him some new CDs and songs I purchased recently. After dinner etc, we threw in the SVCD copy I got for him of "Ju On: The Grudge", this was the Japanese original version that the american "The Grudge" version is being based on (I think). The movie had it good points and bad, all together it was awesome. They really crossed over into some new territory with scary and freaky stuff, but the timeline seemed to keep jumping around and it was really confusing at points as to how it all fit together. But that didn't keep it from being very scary. It was a good thrill.

Well, it's 4am now and I'm not sure how easy its going to be to wake up for church.

the question

I really can't think of anything that great to report today. Except maybe that the chasis for a 1U server showed up today that I got from an eBay auction. It should prove fun to play with.

I met up with a good friend and we went over my resume a bit, mostly discussing how to custom tailor it specifically to the job I am applying for. So now I need to sit down and spend some time completely rewriting my resume. Not something I'm looking forward to, but must be done anyway. That and laundry. *sighs*

So the question becomes... Was this really worth blogging? hehehe .. I dunno. I apologize if I horribly wasted anyone's time.

It's Thursday now .. and I haven't slept yet. I suppose I should be trying to get into a normal sleep pattern and all. I have hopes that today Amy will be calling and that I'll get to see her.

She called me!

I'm sure this will continue to reign as the highlight of my week. Amy, the previously mentioned recently returned missionary, apparently called my sister, who is an old friend of hers, to re-acquire my digits. It was very unexpected for me, I was hoping for an email or something and figured I'd have to be the one to get her number and call her. Anyway, we talked for a bit and it was so great to hear from her in person, she is so incredibly funny. We caught up a bit and as things settled down I asked if we could get together 'sometime'. She agreed and we should be able to hook up for a bit later this week.

Things are looking up

Well, the day went mostly as planned. The only scheduled activity was to work on Casey's (sarcastic) uberfast webserver and get the initial raid0 framework setup and configured. Which I haven't done yet, due to strange errors booting the Gentoo LiveCD, but I'm ready to blame the SCSI cd-rom drive and troubleshoot that. On another computer related note, my primary workstation sits on my desk mostly torn open as I attempt to prepare it to be rebuilt. Need to pull the harddrive out and backup the data to one of my other computers so I can start clean. While I was in there I figured I'd do some dusting and even change how things are organized a bit.

I keep trying to find some motivation. I need to find a job, but more importantly I need to find some way to be happy with what I have rather than so depressed about what I don't have. Life is different for everyone, its time to stop comparing and make good with what I've got.

Mindless rambling?

I slept in today, missing church .. I could have gotten up, but wasn't feeling all too motivated to do so. By the time I did wake, my older brother was back in town from a vacation of his and the rest of my immediate family were making preparations to 'camp-out' in one of the nearby canyon campgrounds. I hoped to have early Monday plans and declined the campout, but did hang-out with them up the canyon for a few hours. I love the smell of campfire, and the smores even more.

While being around family is nice and all, there was a definite distraction lingering in my mind. The recent return of a girl I dated before she left for 1.5 years ago on an LDS mission. She made it clear before she left that she had nothing more planned, and seemingly desired, for us other than friends (which always leaves the existing friendship in question). However prior to her leaving and for many months after I would have claimed I was in love with her. It's very unsettling to know she is back in town and not know if she would like to see me or if she has any intentions of continuing a friendship. Being a pessimist I suspect that she's hoping that I just leave her alone and let her get on with her life, without me in the picture. But part of me wishes dearly that she'd wrap her arms around me and tell me how she missed me. I have been both anxious and scared of having to face this scenario. Although having 1.5 years to ponder and reach some understanding, I feel completely unprepared. And the emotions I thought I had dealt with now feel like they were just bottled up and are finding their way out. I'm trying not to show how distracted I feel. I've debated contacting her but have yet to do so .. partially in hopes that she'll contact me first. I could do without the awkward discomfort of having to attempt to rebuild and continue a friendship that meant more to me than friendship should, especially if the feelings aren't the same for her.

First post

ok, never done the whole blogging thing, but we are going to give it a try. I hope you find it amusing or entertaining or something better than a depressive mess.